Hello! This week, I have for you:
Mummified Captain Found Drifting at Sea — The mummified remains of a man last seen seven years ago have been found drifting aboard his yacht 50 miles off the Philippines coast.
‘Just witnessed a giant seal being chased out of a fishmongers shop’ — Just like it says on the tin.
It’s 2.4 Miles Across, 8,650 Years Old, and It Lives in Oregon — It’s also ravenous.
8 Myths About Dead Bodies You Probably Think Are True — The biggest myth? Embalming doesn’t make anything safer. Unfortunately, it’s one that has been pushed by the funeral industry (in fact, is responsible for much of the funeral industry). Not only does embalming not make anything safer, the chemicals used in it are pretty dangerous.
This Person’s Detailed Analysis Of The Cheesecake Factory Will Make Your Head Spin — I love reading about bad architecture and decorating, but this threw me for a loop. It also gave me a morbidly curious desire to visit The Cheesecake Factory.
Lastly, I leave you with this.
Hi! I hope your upcoming week goes well and, if not, that it at least goes quickly. Today, I bring you:
The 17th-Century Spy Who Gave Us Big Strawberries — Renaissance man (and spy) Amedée François Frézier brought back Chilean strawberry plants to please the strawberry-loving Louis XIV. Unfortunately, the strawberries required plants of the opposite sex in order to set fruit, and these plants sat barren for some time. It was only when farmers began planting them beside strawberries from elsewhere in the Americas that they created the big, luscious fruits we know and love.
Top 5 Restaurants to Kill Time in After Committing Murder — “Be it man, mosquito or moth, murder works up quite an appetite, so where do you go when you need to lay low and maybe have a drink or three to soothe your frayed nerves?”
Cards Against Humanity Is Trying To Stop Trump’s Wall By Purchasing Border Land — And becoming the biggest, most expensive, completely legal PITA they can.
US Navy confirms its jets drew penises in the sky over Washington — “After the penises were sighted in the heavens above the state, residents began writing to local media to complain that they were concerned they may have to explain human anatomy to their children.”
Political cartoon about witch hunts raises concerns for local Pagan — A Wiccan former city council member is wondering if a political cartoon is targeting her based on her religion… But is it overtly malicious, or careless?
What Happened to Ed Gein’s Gravestone? — Nothing marks Ed Gein’s grave but a little hole where true crime enthusiasts, murder groupies, and collectors of curiosities collect dirt. What happened to the original (and replacement) headstones that mark the infamous killers gravesite?
Lastly, I leave you with this song I’ve had in my head for days. Have a good week!
Hello! This week, I have for you:
Face of 18th-Century Torryburn Witch Revealed in Digital Reconstruction — In 1704, an old woman named Lillias Adie was accused of causing one of her neighbors to fall ill. When she was brought before the authorities, she confessed to being a witch with a series of confusing, nonsensical tales about unearthly lights and dancing in the forest. She accused many others of witchcraft as well, before dying in prison.
45 Scary Mythical Creatures from Around the World — I’m a bit surprised there aren’t more Unseelie fae pictured here. Then again, you could basically make an entire poster of just them. It’s a wonder any Irish people ever survived to adulthood.
Noel Gallagher calls scissors-playing bandmate the “greatest thing” he’s ever seen — “Noel has said of his scissors-playing bandmate: ‘She’s French and she’s eccentric to say the least. I said to her, ‘can you play the tambourine?’, She said, ‘I cannot play the tambourine.’ I said, ‘Oh right. Shaker?’ ‘Non. I can play the scissors.’ She brought them in and I was looking at my bass player going, if that’s not the greatest thing you’ve ever seen then tell me what is. A French bird in a cape playing the scissors? It doesn’t get any better than that does it?'”
The Fungus That Turns Ants Into Zombies Is More Diabolical Than We Realized — What we thought was a brain parasite actually appears to be much, much more terrifying: “[N]ew research published this week in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that the brains of these zombie ants are left intact by the parasite, and that O. unilateralis is able to control the actions of its host by infiltrating and surrounding muscle fibers throughout the ant’s body.”
Ancient Greek ‘Masterpiece’ Revealed on Thumb-Size Gem — “The carving in full detail can only be easily seen with a photomicroscopy camera lens. Some of the details carved onto the stone are only half a millimeter big. A magnifying glass may have been used to create the details on the stone, but according to Stocker, no type of magnifying tool from this time period has ever been found.”
Please Stop Trying to Sell Me Shit! (I’m Just Not Your Gal) — If chunks of your social media feeds have been taken over by earnest women pushing everything from makeup, to weight loss, to oils, to pants, this might be for you.
Roy Moore’s alleged pursuit of a young girl is the symptom of a larger problem in evangelical circles — “As a teenager, I attended a lecture on courtship by a home-school speaker who was popular at the time. He praised the idea of ‘early courtship’ so the girl could be molded into the best possible helpmeet for her future husband. The girl’s father was expected to direct her education after the courtship began so she could help her future husband in his work.
In retrospect, I understand what the speaker was really describing: Adult men selecting and grooming girls who were too young to have life experience. Another word for that is ‘predation.'”
Hello! This week, I have for you:
I made another video! some of my aloe plants are showing signs of scale again, so I thought I’d made a quick video on what it is, what it does, and how to get rid of it.
Killed By A Bear: The Story of a Mysterious Gravesite in California — “At the top of Grapevine Canyon, sitting under an ancient oak tree, there stands a marker with a strange inscription. The lack of facts about the inscription have lead to many legends surrounding the life and violent death of the man buried under an oak tree in what is now known as Fort Tejon.”
Repoto: A Sinking Ghost Town in Greece — In April of 2012, the town suffered a catastrophic landslide that wiped out many of its buildings. More landslides followed, and the town has continued to vanish ever since.
Loch Ness’ Other Mysterious Residents — Nessie always gets all the attention, but what about the wallabies?
Students Find Spacesuits In Thrift Store — They picked up the suits for about two bucks. As it turns out, they’re worth more. Like, a lot more.
Lastly, I leave you with this video from the Order of the Good Death:
My computer spent part of this week inside of a Best Buy as a small pile of melted plastic and smoldering rubble, so this week’s installment is a little short. I didn’t want to skip it, though, because holy crap someone stole The Toe.
The Sourtoe Cocktail’s Main Ingredient Was Stolen — “You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, but your lips must touch the toe.” Louie Linken, a rum runner back during the roaring 20s, got frostbite that severely damaged one of his toes. His brother, Otto, amputated it and saved it in a jar of alcohol to commemorate the occasion. Long after, the toe was re-discovered and included as an ingredient in the world’s worst cocktail — the Sourtoe. To me, the most WTFey part of this story is not that the toe was stolen (someone stole part of a saint’s brain earlier this month. It’s okay, though, they found it in a kettle), it’s that the bar isn’t worried because they have backup toes.
Backup toes which, apparently, are “hard to come by.”
A State-by-State Guide to the Best 2017 Solar Eclipse Festivals Still Available — Got any plans for this August? Here’re some ideas.
Costa Rica’s President Inhaled A Wasp On Live TV Like It Was Nothing — Not gonna lie, I can still feel imaginary wasps in my throat after reading this.
Blooming Beasts: Dinosaurs Are Coming Up Roses in AI Artwork — This is way cool. An AI program is generating dinosaurs completely made of flowers, and they look freaking awesome.
I have my computer back now, so I’m able to go back to full-length posts. In the meantime, Wild Thing and Funky Cold Medina are pretty much the same song. Tone Lōc is either lazy, or a genius. Maybe both.
Hello! This week, there’s a grody road, a stolen brain, Mothman, and the dark truth about Britney Spears’ Instagram account:
Sacred Fragment of 19th-Century Saint’s Brain Stolen from Italian Basilica — I really, really want to be a fly on the wall when the thieves try to fence this.
Road paved with clamshells emits stench, covered in maggots — A guy up for “Worst Neighbor Possibly Ever” paved a road in unwashed clam shells. To the surprise of probably nobody, this turned out to be a terrible idea.
Russian malware communicates by leaving comments in Britney Spears’s Instagram account — Instagram isn’t all multi-level marketing shills and perverts trawling for pictures of shoes. Sometimes it’s Russian hackers too!
Chicago’s Current Mothman Flap “A Warning,” Says Expert — Mothman sightings are on the rise. Does that mean bad news for Chicago?
And lastly, I leave you with:
Hello! This week, I have for you:
Man Who Hates 7-Eleven With A Passion Opens Up 6-Twelve Instead — Man, that is an aspiration-worthy level of pettiness. That said, this guy is fully justified and I’m glad his former 7-Eleven customers are supporting his business.
“Don’t Put Ground Wasp Nest On Your Vagina to Tighten Muscles,” Warns (the Universe’s Most World-Weary) Gynecologist — holy shit what
Maryland Resident Spots Bipedal Creature Missing its Body — You know, I’ve actually been planning on writing a thing about how the PNW has been unfairly hogging all of the good cryptids. This warrants further investigation.
Helpful Dead Wife — Is it weird that I’m more intrigued by the Rube Goldbergian murder device than I am about the helpful ghost? All “Yeah, yeah, okay a ghost lady, but tell me more about the string.”
1120: Gold from cocks, toads and redhead blood — Really, even if this worked, you’d probably spend more procuring the materials to do it than you’d get back for the gold you made.
Lastly, I leave you with this:
Hello! This week, I have for you:
How to Participate in the National General Strike on February 17th — Unemployed? Self-employed? Unable to take the day off of work? There are other things you can do to participate in the strike.
All Cats Love Music — Make a donation of at least $50 to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, or SPLC, and Bunny Blake will write you a song about your cat (or dog, chinchilla, chicken, tiny alligator, chupacabra, etc.).
I Don’t Dress For Men, I Dress For The Sea Witch That Cursed Me — “Can men enjoy my clothes? Of course they can. Anyone is welcome to see and appreciate the aesthetics of my outfits. I just don’t want men to think that I wore this in the hopes that they would talk to me, when I just wore it because I wake up every day essentially in a prison of no choices thanks to my cruel, salty mistress.”
How To Become A Life Coach — “You can’t be a life coach without being hella authentic. Being true to your students means being true to yourself. How can you be true to yourself, without being…..authentic?!? The main way to be “authentic” is by taking a bunch of random pictures of yourself and writing “authentic” phrases on them. […] The best part about telling people to be “authentic” is that it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just a Philosophy 101 phrase that people use to sound smart. It’s also a way to make people always question if they’re being authentic enough.”
I Work from Home — “OPERATOR: Now, Robert, did you eat anything today?
ROBERT: Yes. Many times.
OPERATOR: Are you eating now, Robert?
ROBERT: I keep putting things in my mouth a lot.” Accurate.
Lastly, I leave you with the song that’s been stuck in my head all week:
Hello! I missed some of these because of the holidays, but I have returned with some interesting stuff:
History of the Integratron — “George Van Tassel began conducting weekly meditation sessions in 1953 in the rooms underneath Giant Rock which, he claimed, led to UFO contacts and finally to an actual encounter with extra-terrestrials when according to George, in August of that year, a saucer landed from the planet Venus, woke Van Tassel up and invited him onto the ship. There the aliens gave him a formula for a proprietary frequency for rejuvenating living cell tissues. In 1954 he began building a structure they called ‘The Integratron’ to perform the rejuvenation. George described his creation this way, ‘The Integratron is a machine, a high-voltage electrostatic generator that would supply a broad range of frequencies to recharge the cell structure.'”
Diver Has Visited The Same Friendly Fish For 25 Years — Hiroyuki Arakawa is entrusted with guiding visitors to an undersea shrine in Japan for over two decades. One of the shrine’s most frequent visitors? A sheepshead wrasse.
Baseball Card Vandals — Just like it says on the tin.
The Lie of White Identity — While the concept of a black identity arose out of the shared experiences of people of the African disapora (many of whom had no way of knowing or retaining their tribal identity), the idea of a white identity arose out of exclusion of those who didn’t meet its criteria. This has deep implications for aspects of the Pagan identity: “Some of the Daoine Sidhe came across the ocean on ships with my great grandparents (my father heard a Bean-Sidhe wailing the night my great-grandmother died), just as the Orisha travelled from Africa to the Americas in slave ships and across Damballah’s rainbow bridge. But the next generation had to cease acknowledging their presence if they wanted to be admitted to white society.
The concept of white Polytheism or European Polytheism is ahistorical. The fact that such a concept is new does not inherently make it wrong – there are plenty of gorgeous traditions and practices and religions that have emerged in the last half-century or so. But its roots in and its reinforcement of ideas of whiteness is inherently problematic.”
Life-Hacks of the Poor and Aimless: On negotiating the false idols of neoliberal self-care — “Lifestyle bloggers insist to hundreds of thousands of followers that freedom looks like a white woman practicing yoga alone on a beach. One such image (on the @selflovemantras Instagram) informs us that ‘the deeper the self love, the richer you are.’ That’s a charming sentiment, but landlords are not currently collecting rent in self-love.
Can all this positive thinking be actively harmful? Carl Cederström and André Spicer, authors of The Wellness Syndrome, certainly think so, arguing that obsessive ritualization of self-care comes at the expense of collective engagement, collapsing every social problem into a personal quest for the good life. ‘Wellness,’ they declare, ‘has become an ideology.'”
Also, this site has a Facebook page now!
Lastly, I leave you with a song:
Hello! This week, I came across:
The Totally Jinxed Map of Global Superstitions — The idea that a word or gesture (knocking on wood, or throwing salt over your left shoulder) can help you avert bad luck or attract good is found all over the world. This article takes a look at some of these folk traditions.
‘Space pie’ survives trip to final frontier and lands in North Yorkshire village — Launched to promote a pie eating contest, spacepie has (mostly) safely returned. The pie suffered a pretty serious crack, but still looks to be in edible condition.
Men, You Can Survive Without Us—Please Try — “What bound us to you was circumstance—circumstance that you created. But what bound you to us was fear. And as we break our bonds of circumstance, you face an even harder task: breaking free of the prison of your own minds that says that you stand on nothing if you do not stand on our necks. That without us underfoot, you will fall into the abyss.”
Cult of Weird Holiday Gift Guide 2016 — “Find the perfect gift to warm the cold, dead heart of that special someone on Christmas mourning.”
The strange-face-in-the-mirror illusion — Stare at your face in the mirror long enough, and it stops making sense– just becomes shapes. Do it in a dimly lit room with a lamp behind you, and it becomes something else.
Lastly, I leave you with a song: