I think I might’ve gone wrong with Wikihow last week. I might need something a little less active to channel my inner goddess– if she’s a subconscious entity, could I really hope to get in touch with her by wearing makeup and smiling more? I might be better off trying to relax and let my subconscious flow.
This week, I’m going to hit up YouTube and see if I can’t get my inner goddess to start talking.
Educational Video Interlude (feat. Archangel Haniel)
For my next foray into getting in touch with my inner goddess, I picked a meditation video that said it can help me connect with her:
But wait! There’s also a buttload of videos that say they can help heal my inner goddess.
… Does she need healing? How would I know?
Better be on the safe side and queue one up. There’s about seven pages of videos about inner goddesses and Archangel Haniel, so…
… There. I don’t know who Melanie Beckler is, but the caps make her seem very passionate about getting her seriously healed the hell up.
Now to go do a relax and get my goddessing on.
Did It Work?
Okay, so, first things first. The guided meditation was nice– even if you don’t close your eyes, the video has an array of relaxing nature images for you to look at instead– and neither the voice nor the background music was too intrusive.
I don’t know how I feel about my creative center being two inches above my navel (I have a feeling they were trying to invoke chakras without actually saying “chakra”). I do a surprisingly little painting or writing with my abdomen. This might be why I’m having trouble with this goddess-connecting thing.
The images called up by the rest of the meditation were nice. Overall, it was a relaxing experience. I don’t know that I necessarily felt any different afterward, though. Maybe this one just didn’t resonate with me.
Or maybe my inner deity needs some healing.
Did It Work? (Round 2)
The second video wasn’t very different, really. The narration was occasionally difficult to hear over the background music and the vocal cadence was a little tricky to understand at times, but it had pretty similar advice and gentle admonishments. To be honest, I was a little disappointed– the title had me all psyched up for a half hour with a tiny drill sergeant with a “Namaste” tee shirt and an angel in a Hannibal Lector mask.
(It’s not easy living in my head.)
I am going to assume my inner goddess is now sufficiently healthy, ’cause I don’t really feel more tapped in than I was when I started. I do guided meditations fairly frequently, though, so I may not be the kind of person who’ll notice a dramatic difference from doing a slightly different one one time. I’m thinking my problem may also be that I don’t really know what I’m looking for. If I had a better image of my inner goddess, this would all probably be a whole lot easier… but how?
Next week, strangers on the internet tell me things about myself through the magic of online forms.