No matter how positive, sweet, and cheerful someone manages to be in their daily life, there will always be buttheads.
I don’t mean “trolls” or “haters,” either. There’s an unfortunate tendency to lump any kind of criticism– no matter how it’s worded or how valid it may be– under a kind of broad umbrella of “jealous people just trying to dull [your] sparkle.”
This is not for haters or other anonymous annoyances.
What this is for is for those situations where there’s an unresolved wrong that sticks to you. It’s more than just a matter of letting things go, this is a situation where someone else has allowed their misdeeds to not only harm you, but let them get away clean. Maybe you’re dealing with the hurts dealt to you by an estranged spouse or relative. Maybe you’re still being impacted by gossip spread about you ages ago. Maybe someone mistook your kindness for weakness. If it’s time for you to get some closure and someone else to get their just desserts, here’s what you’re gonna need:
- A non-toxic red pen, or a fine paintbrush and some non-toxic paint. If you have access to (or can make your own) magickal or flower inks, here’s a great place to use them. If you don’t have access to these materials, even lipstick’ll work.
- An old water bottle. Don’t worry about using and decorating a fancy jar for this. Buttheads don’t deserve nice things.
- A square or two (or three, or four…) of clean toilet paper.
- Dried herbs. Try garlic, black pepper, cayenne, or any other hot spices of your choice.
- If you have some taglocks for a person (or persons) that are going into the bottle, great! Toss it in, too.
And here’s what you’re gonna want to do:
- Take the red pen, and write down the names (as fully as possible) on the toilet paper. This can be one name, or you can go full-on Arya Stark and write down a list of them.
- Write down your intention. You may wish to be careful how this is worded– be specific when asking for redress for the wrongs you’ve been dealt. This isn’t intended as a way to enact revenge. It’s just to close the gap between the crap that’s been handed to you and what would have been fair treatment.
- Draw a circle four times around the names and your intention, encircling them both together.
- Roll the toilet paper up small, and slip it into the bottle.
- Fill the bottle nearly to the top with water. The ink will probably begin to bleed and the toilet paper to dissolve– that’s okay!
- Add several pinches (four is a good amount) of each herb, plus whatever tag locks you may have.
- Cap it, make sure it’s closed tight, and shake the crap out of it. Shake it until the inside is mush. Shake it while the bits of pepper swirl around like a spicy tornado. Shake it like it owes you money.
- Keep the bottle hidden, but somewhere you won’t forget it. Whenever you think about one of the people you wrote down, pick it up and shake it again.
- Keep doing this for as long as feels right to you. That may be for a single day, an entire moon cycle, or until you feel you’ve been fully vindicated.
- When you feel the bottle has run its course, empty the contents into the toilet and flush them away. Stomp the water bottle flat, and toss it in the nearest recycling bin.
Good luck to you, and don’t let the bastards grind you down!