Since moving to the city, I’ve found myself a little under the weather and bereft of excitement (ironic, huh?). I haven’t exactly been able to be the social butterfly or creative dynamo that I want to be, and I figure it’s time to shake things up a bit.
According to the New Age movement, I need to channel my inner goddess.
“Channeling your inner goddess” is, as far as I can tell, a vague statement in the same vein as “living authentically” and “being centered.” Plenty of people can tell you it’s a good thing, but there isn’t really a concrete how. For the most part, being in touch with one’s particular internal deity allows you to be more relaxed, more intuitive, more creative, and happier.
And boy oh boy, are there a buttload of ways to go about doing it.
The Wisdom of Wikihow
For my first foray into getting in touch with my innermost goddesshood, I figured I’d hit up a repository of all of the world’s knowledge– from “How to Make Your Own Holy Waterl” to “How to Pass Gas in Front of a Girl”— to figure out a solution to my problem. How can I channel my inner goddess from the comfort and safety of my computer chair?
Wouldn’t you know it, Wikihow has the answer. Two answers, even. One of which is “do absolutely nothing.” Score!
So let’s get down to the nitty gritty. According to this, I need to find my inner goddess through drawing attention to my best features, smiling a lot, avoiding stress, and being happy (which appears to involve becoming a chocoholic serial killer). I don’t wear makeup, I smile all of the time, if I tried to relax any harder I’d never be conscious, and if I was happy already I wouldn’t need this advice to begin with.
Is it just me, or is “channeling your inner goddess” is beginning to sound suspiciously like “getting your crush to notice you?”
So, plan B. I’m going to do absolutely nothing!
The second part of this Wikihow guide involves the wu-wei approach. I’m unfamiliar with it personally, but the internet tells me that it’s a Daoist philosophy that involves going with the natural flow of the universe. It involves spontaneity, but not the kind of manic pixie-ness usually conjured up by the word– it’s more of a response to what the world throws at you. Adaptability. I can dig it.
So I’m going to chill here for a bit, see if I can align myself with the natural flow of the cosmos, and figure out how much closer it’s put me to my goal.
Did It Work?
Okay apparently the cosmos really wanted me to eat a toaster waffle and read a comic book about Fraggles. I’ve got my fingers crossed that the universe will think it’s a rad idea for my laundry to get done, but I’m not holding my breath.
Do I feel particularly goddessy? Not really. (Unless goddesshood also feels kind of like indigestion.)
So, it looks like the way this piece of Wikihow advice is supposed to work is thus: you go with the flow of the cosmos, realize trying to control anything is hopeless, relinquish your desire to achieve inner goddessness to begin with, and just go do whatever you feel like. While going with the flow and doing what feels right to you in the moment might be pretty solid advice in most situations, I don’t think it’s going to help me here.
Maybe YouTube has some answers…